The largeness and the smallness of our existence.

In my years, I have been privileged to experience the world in many ways that others have not, and as a result in 2021 I feel not only blessed, but fortunate.

I have continuously flirted with the dichotomy of two extremes throughout my life; one giving me pleasure and happiness, and the other causing me pain and sometimes, regret.

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Over the years, I developed a morning practice of looking up into the sky on my way to work (and sometimes after a hard day on my way home). These rituals have come to be known as my Sky Moments. 

My many days looking at the sunrises and sunsets, the cosmic characters like the sun, the moon, the stars, and the clouds, and even just the sky in all its forms– has given me the ability to see all the contrasts in my existence and in the existence of others, in ways that I never imagined.

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I often reflect upon my existence by looking at my own life and the lives of others around and close to me. I contemplate my life in connection with those I live with, work with, those who exists in my world of known and unknown friends, and those who might have come to despise or love me because of my very existence, decisions and viewpoints.

In the small moments of situations, the ones that can momentarily become overwhelming, life-threatening, and feel insurmountable, I find my Sky Moments helps me put things in perspective once again.

Considering all that we have experienced and all that the world has been through in 2020, I want to share my Sky Moment introspection from the first morning of 2021.

Without the protection of the known...What brings us control?

Unaware of what the future brings, based upon our experiences in 2020 and in our distant past, 2021 presents an opportunity, despite these current challenges.

The anxiety of feeling out of control, especially when we don’t know what lies ahead, can oftentimes be crippling. When we as humans experience good situations, there is a fear that any sudden change will cause us to lose the positive effect of said situation. The same fear is often present if we are having a bad experience– we feel hopeless that we will ever be able to change the condition for the better. These two situations cause anxiety and a feeling of being out of control.  

Phrases and words like “I can’t afford to fail, I can’t risk it, there is no opportunity here, and never again can I believe or trust” can bring a sense of comfort and hope, offering the protection one is looking for. Yet, this anxiety instead debilitates you from making yourself better each day, and disables you from taking risks to get what you want in life.

My sky moment message this morning to myself was this, “By adjusting my thoughts away from those words and phrases that I often feel brings me control, I can dispel the anxiety I feel because of past experiences. When I become aware that these control mechanisms and reactions do not truly work for me or others, I can find the ones that do, and make an effort to employ them”.

In 2021, I am prepared to embrace everyone and find the true meaning for our existence, our relationships, our processes, our purpose, and our contributions- no matter the circumstance or the profile. I will use the best judgment to inspire myself and others to do their best, even if the best is not possible.

Considering the vastness of our universe and the moment in which we exist, life is indeed short…

I am so grateful for my sky moments, where I can take time out of my day to understand the vastness of the universe and the smallness of our problems; the dichotomy of life.

Happy New Year to all. Looking forward to a great 2021. Let’s get started.

Kester J Nedd